The Story behind "Shitstick"

In my intro, I mentioned that I call my best friend "Shitstick". I also said that I would explain this at a later date, so here you go.


My mum has a little dog called Lucy.  My nan looks after the dog a fair bit, because she is retired and she loves her.


One afternoon, my Nan took a trip to town. She went round M&S (her favourite), House of Fraser, the usual slightly more upmarket places. After she'd had a look round the shops, she went to visit her mum, my Great Nan. I call her G Nan.

When she arrived at my G Nan's. she put her handbag down and got her lipstick out of her bag. When she put it to her face however, she discovered she was actually clutching a little "gift" that Lucy had left in there. She had indeed been walking about with a dog shit in her bag. She hadn't seen Lucy for a couple of days, so it must have been in there for about 48 hours.


The funniest bit though, is that when she and my Great Nan saw what it actually was, G Nan called out "Oh! It wasn't me, Viv!". Yes. Because when one finds a turd in ones handbag, you do automatically assume that your mother must've done it. 


From then on, Bestie has called me Shitlips, and I have called her Shitstick.